Tony and Maria get married and they’re spending their honeymoon night at her mother’s house. Maria, being a good Italian girl, is a virgin, and has never seen a naked man. The newlyweds go upstairs and start getting undressed.
Tony takes his shirt off, and Maria shrieks and runs downstairs where her mother is making some tomato sauce.
“Momma, momma! Tony has a hairy chest!” cries Maria.
“Men are supposed to have hairy chests, go back upstairs.”
So Maria sheepishly goes back upstairs.
When she gets back, Tony starts pulling off his pants, and again, Maria shrieks and runs downstairs.
“Momma, momma! Tony has hairy legs!”
“Men are supposed have hair legs, go back upstairs.”
And back upstairs she goes. When she gets back, she watches Tony pull off his socks and notices he’s missing three toes on his left foot. He explains he got his foot stepped on by a horse and lost those toes. Once more, Maria runs downstairs.
“Momma, momma! Tony has a foot and a half!”
“Stir the sauce, honey, momma will handle this.”